Hi there, true believers!  It is I, Captain Obvious!  This being my first article for Global Distortion, I wanted it to start it off with a bang.  I am a superhero, and that gives me connections you mere mortals do not have.  I used to have a great pal named Superman, and might I add he was always acting weird.  Oh yes!  One minute he'd be fighting crime with us superheroes, and then as soon as the fighting was done, he'd mention he needed a loaf of bread or a gallon of milk and he'd dissapear faster than a speeding bullet.

    I did what any other hero of truth, jusice, and the American way would do.  I followed him.  Superman would shoot straight into these strange huts, (the city was rotten with them), and faster than you could say "David Copperfield!"  He'd vanish and out would come this bespectacled wimpy looking fellow.  I jumped into the hut to follow, and low and behold it wasn't a hut after all!  It was a booth that contained a device known to some as a telephone.  A telephone is an amazing device that allows one to communicate vast distances..but, well that is another story all it's own.  I dare not astound you too much, true believers!

     As I was saying, I followed the Man of Steel for several months, and I never did figure out how he was giving me the slip.  In went the Man from Krypton, and out would emerge this bespectaled mortal.  I just couldn't understand how he was doing it!  One day I stopped the gentleman as he came out of the booth to see if he had seen anything that might give me a clue on Superman's clever dodge.

    The man angrily brushed me aside.  "Out of the way, Captain!  I got to get to the Daily Planet on the double!  A hot story just broke, and I want to get it out before they start the presses!"

    I was astounded!  How did this man know my first name was Captain?  There was a deeper riddle here than first expected!  As the man ran away, I saw he had dropped a business card.  On it were the words, "Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet."

     Could it be?

     No!

     Well...

     Maybe, just maybe....

     Clark Kent just might be Superman. 

     Let's Look at these highly detailed pictures:

    Aside from the cleft in the chin, the skin tone, the almost exact same hair style, and body structure, these two beings have nothing in common.

    But when you do one thing to Superman, it all clicks into place.  It gave me chills the first time I saw it.

    You see the uncanny resemblance now?  The restraining order Superman put out on me was worth it!  One of life's greatest mysteries can now be safely solved.

    That's all for now, mere mortals!  Maybe next article I can explain how I solved the mystery of the bodiless voice coming from the telephone...

- Captain Out! 

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