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Cybergangs Growing on Internet |
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Written by Professor Hu Flung Poo
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Friday, 07 July 2006 |
They have flashy names such as Cyber C0j0nes, l337 Killaz, HTML H0miez, and The Pixel Posse. What used to be a plague in the real world is now becoming the fastest growing terror on the internet. Gangs of young men and boys, mostly white, prowl the information superhighway to show their skills and prowness in all things cyber. Turfs are hard to define, and there is constant clashes over who has ownership over which domain. Lenny "Flapjackz172" Savarati, A member of the notorious l337 Killaz (pronounced Leet Killahs), spoke out in defense of his lifestyle, "Let me first give a shout out to my l337 brothers, Wombat892, PsychoX!!!111one, and Uberl337killaz. Now, let's get down to it. You see, it's a hard knock life growing up middleclass in mostly white suburbs. We don't have a 'Man' to keep us down, just our parents. They be putting us in lockdown, with curfews, grounding and all that shizzle, so like we keeps it real on the internet, and if you want to tangle with us, then we always ready. You put us on a junk mail list, we'll flame your forum, you escalate by flooding our servers and we is ready to rumble for real, yo! We'll take you out in the arena of Doom, Capture the Flag style! Our guns be blazin' there for real, yo!" The l337Killaz lay claim to the dot com domains, yet not all the other major gangs are happy to be regulated to dot net or dot org territory. "l33t killaz be wack if they think they can keep us from all the dot coms," exclaims Silas "Terrorbyte" Dextrell. "The Cyber C0j0nes owned l337 Killaz back before Windows 95 was even invented. Hell, I'm the first playa who started calling Bill Gates G-Money for short. We go to the days of wayback, old schoool playas who used Ansi and Ascii with baud rates of 2400 or lower. We original cybergangstas. The l337 Killaz be claiming they can throw down, but while they think they are Unreal Tournament, they are more like Combat on Atari 2600!" Right after this comment, IM's (Instant Mesages) of cyberdissing began flooding both l337 Killaz and Cyber Cojones' computers. A cease fire was reached because Wombat892's sister needed the family computer to play World of Warcraft. Tomorrow they throw down in Battlefield 2, No C4 allowed, but tonight the internet can breathe safe.
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 08 July 2006 )
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